Schadenfreude

schadenfreude \SHOD-n-froy-duh\, noun: A malicious satisfaction obtained from the misfortunes of others.

When I was younger I suffered a lot from the sad effects of schadenfreude. I used to use this word a lot with my friend as we secretly celebrated when those who we didn't think deserved what they had came to experience the sadness and depravity that we, the more deserving of happiness, somehow seemed to happen upon on a consistent basis.

That all changed when I really did become happy.

Lately I've been feeling a certain vibe of ill will from someone in my life. I've never quite been able to pin point where that ill will came from, but I've recently come to the conclusion that this person may actually be jealous of me. Jealous of me, say whaaa?! Seriously peeps, how could anyone feel jealous of someone who walks around every day with her insecurities on her sleeve for all to take advantage of and tromp upon? But then again, maybe that's just it. Despite all of my insecurities and shortcomings, I've come to accept and even like who I am. Sure I still care about what other people think, but more because I care about them as people and not because I want them to shape who I am in order to be more likeable in their eyes. I choose not to buy into (excuse my French) petty bullshit like whether or not I said the right thing to the right person in order to look good or gain favor for my own benefit.

Some might say it's lame of me to blog about this, that I should just confront the person directly. The problem with this is that I've come to gain a reputation as someone with a paranoid personality who is overly sensitive, so it is easy for people to chalk up such thoughts to my own inner demons. The other thing is, if I really cared to repair my relationship with this person I might try to talk to them about it, but I prefer to analyze and reflect on the situation (i.e. I frankly don't care much for the most part since I am not willing to subject myself to the emotional abuse). And finally, if I feel someone will be open and accepting and honest when discussing such matters with me I might say something, but again, I think that some people are more concerned about making themselves look like the good guy and I am just not down to having a one-sided honest, put-your-feelings-out-there conversation with someone who I feel might be unreciprocal and manipulative. Besides, how do you confront someone about such an insane theory anyway?

"Dear so-and-so, I know you are jealous of me, so step off!"

Somehow that just doesn't quite cut it.

Come to think of it, maybe it isn't so much jealousy with this person as it is a feeling that I am undeserving of the things I have in life. Bet ya they'd feel schadenfreude towards me in a heartbeat!

And if you're wondering if I'm talking about you, don't worry, the person who I am referring to would never ever read my blog because they don't believe in blogs or something totally contrary to who I am.

Another rant from Crazy Conspiracy Theory Lady. There, I feel better now.

Dreams Do Come True

Hey there.

Thought I'd pop in to share with you the exciting news I just found out. The New Kids on the Block are reuniting!

Which reminds me of a story I have about my brush with my favorite New Kid, Joey Joe, but I'll save that one for another day.

In the meantime, I forgot that I need to follow up with my previous Celebrity Chronicle. The movie premiere that I attended was waaay back in 1992, "Boomerang" starring Eddie Murphy and Halle Berry.

This was way back before Halle was the mega superstar she is today. My friend Joy and I had driven up to L.A. on a random day and saw that a huge crowd had formed outside of Mann's Chinese Theater in anticipation of the Boomerang premiere. Being the outgoing guy magnet type she managed to finagle two tickets from an intern from Power 106 who was stationed in a van in front of the theater. Walking down a red carpet is pretty fun and exciting for a pop-culture obsessed 17-year old girl as I imagined that the photographers were taking pictures of me instead of Holly Robinson and Karen from "Fresh Prince of Bel Air". The celebrities we saw ranged from Grace Jones and Dikembe Mutumbo to Brian Robbins (remember "Head of the Class"?) and Shawn Wayans. We actually got to talk to Marlon Wayans, Heavy D, and Denzel Washington (nicest: Marlon Wayans, most annoyed with fans: Denzel Washington). Overall, a fun and memorable time for a little teenage nerd.

Speaking of Denzel, I just went on a whirlwind on-the-cheap trip to New York (flew into the tiny Islip airport and crashed on a futon at an apartment in East Brooklyn) where my travel companion, Suzanna, and I went to see taping of "Late Night with David Lettermen" where Denzel happened to be one of the guests. Here are a few highlights of the trip:

Me in Times Square (still had to show the West Coast pride by taking a picture with a ginormous Kobe Bryant)

Cool graffitti at 5 Points, a building where the owner legally allows people to express their artistic side al fresco. We got to visit a few amazing museums (PS1, the Noguchi Museum). The exhibit that I found to be most memorable was called "The Meeting" - it was just a room with a big square hole cut in the ceiling (is it still considered a hole even though it's square? well, whatever). There were seats in the room up against a wall with a slanted back so you could just sit there and stare out at the sky above you. It just gave me this calm, serene feeling and made me think about how so rarely do we have the chance to enjoy nature without any interruptions. As people entered the room, a noticeable hush permeated the space as we all sat in quiet contemplation at the awe-inspiring masterpiece that is Mother Nature. I didn't want to interrupt such a lovely feeling by snapping away on my camera so I didn't take any pictures, but I found this one on the PS1 website:

The picture, of course, doesn't do it justice, so I highly advise anybody who is planning a trip to NYC to go see it for themselves.

Phew, all this deep thinking and New York walking sure can work up a girl's appetite!

Luckily I found a small snack at the Hershey's Store in Time's Square to tide me over...

...that is until I found some yummy hot dogs at Gray's Papaya!

This was just one of the many stops I took on my informal "How I Met Your Mother" tour, which Suzanna kindly endured (Gray's Papaya was where they stopped on New Year's Eve for an almost midnight snack). I figured any hot dog that was worth risking missing out on a fun New Year's Eve party better be good and boy was it ever! This spot was also recommended by one of my fellow foodies and good friend Sarah, who was kind enough to send me info on all the places she used to frequent when she lived in New York (thanks Sarah!).

Stop #2 on Cheryl's "HIMYM" tour was McGee's, the bar that is the inspiration for the one in the show:

An added bonus was that we were able to catch Happy Hour while we were there - where else would you be able to get $5 martinis in the heart of Time's Square? As Barney would say, it was LEGEN...wait for it...DARY!

On a much more somber note, we were also able to stop by the 9/11 site and the firehouse located just across the street. As I looked at the pictures of all the firemen who lost their lives on that tragic day, all of the emotions I felt when I first saw the Twin Towers crashing down came rushing back to me. Just to see how level the ground is compared to the last time I visited New York and saw those enormous buildings towering before me really reminded me of how much that one day has altered where we are today. On our trip we met a lady who worked on Wall Street and at the time worked in the building right next to the Twin Towers. As she told the story of how she rushed out of the building, leaving behind her cell phone and wallet, walked across the Brooklyn Bridge in high heels, later discovering that the security guard who had helped everyone out of her building died when a piece of the Twin Towers destroyed the atrium in which he had stayed behind in, I could see the pain etched in her face and the words displayed on the wall outside of the firehouse came echoing back to me..."May We Never Forget".

Anticlimactic

Happy New Year everyone! Since we're starting anew in '08 I suppose now is the time to post the pics of my "new" hairdo. I realized that I got the most votes for the hair cut of a person who I named that doesn't even exist. It's Rachel McAdams, not Amy Adams! Where did I get Amy Adams from anyway? Isn't that the 90's Christian pop music singer? If so, I would have gotten a nice curly big-hair perm.

I went somewhere between chickening out and making a change. I had my hair dyed, and love the color. The cut is okay, but still not too dramatic of a change from what it was before. Here it is right after I had it done. Keep in mind, I had just received the full sha-bang styling job:

Why is it that my hair never looks the same after the day I get it cut? Here is a picture from a week later on New Years when I styled it myself:

You can't see it very well in this picture, but to me it pretty much looks like it did before. All that build up and this is what you get - a semi-new/back to the old 'do. I hope I don't get any hate comments from those of you who cared enough to cast your vote.

In other voting news, I'm excited that Barack Obama won the Iowa caucus. He's been my pick from the get-go. I think this nation just needs someone who is really going to look out for the interests of the people instead of spending so much time investing in making decisions based on what's going to keep them in their position the longest. Go Barack!

Seriously, how can you see this and not absolutely love the guy?

Okay, getting off my political pedastal now. Time to get on my movie critic pedastal! Best movie I saw in 2007?

Kyle had been dying to see Juno for weeks and we finally had a chance to see it last week. I normally don't like to get movie recommendations because inevitably someone will come back and say they had such high expectations and it didn't live up to them, but I have to say I really enjoyed this movie overall. Well-written, well-acted, great soundtrack - so if you enjoy witty dialogue performed by solid actors with some fun tunes playing to enhance your movie-going experience, then I highly recommend Juno.

That being said, I'm really trying to downplay the whole movie here. All I can say is GO SEE IT! Then you can judge for yourself. But if you disagree with me then you're crazy. Hehe. The only thing I didn't like about it is that since it is a chick-flick, Kyle is trying to pass it off as being my movie choice so that he can pick the next one too. Nice try buddy!