Dim Sum and Then Some

Kyle and I hit up our favorite San Diego dim sum restaurant, Jasmine, for some oh so delicious dumpling gloriousness. There's nothing better than the sight of steam rising from hot plates as they get carted around right to your table.

Except I have to say, a dim sum trip with me is not the most relaxing experience.

Half the time I spend with my neck craned out as far as it can go, searching for the lady with the best cart in order to flag her down before she gets accosted by some neighboring table that takes all of the best stuff so that by the time she gets to us our only option is chicken feet. Which is what happened to us today. All I wanted was a plate of gailan (Chinese broccoli). I was so excited to see a cart stacked with two rows of freshly steamed gailan as it came out of the kitchen, just one row down from us. I watched, mouth drooling, as the cart rolled down the first aisle, and with anticipation got ready to flag the waitress down as soon as she made her way over to us, when to my horror, she proceeded to skip our aisle and headed straight to the next. 15 minutes and five rejected dim sum carts later, she slowly rolled over to Kyle and I with one last plate ready for the taking when the family of 6 next to us pounced and took it from right under my nose! Finally she approached Kyle and I with her offering of chicken feet, and when I asked about more gailan coming out she snapped that it would be 10 more minutes until the next round was ready. Doh!

You see, in my estimation, there are five key plates that make a perfect dim sum trip:

1. Gailan - The one true healthy thing that provides a key balance of nutrition, not to mention tastes damn good.
2. Sui mai - The old stand by.
3. Har gow - See #2.
4. BBQ Pork Bao - No other bao will do!
5. Custard tarts - The piece d' resistance to round out the meal. If you've never had this creamy custard combined with crispy tart crust, you do not know what you're missing. Seriously!

Can you tell I'm a little fanatic about my food? It's weird, I think I've always been extremely particular about having just the right combination of flavors with every meal. Maybe dim sum style eating isn't for me, since I can never get all of the above five dishes at the exact time I need them. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give it up, I love it too much to do that. I have a master plan. Next time I'm going to have the waitress seat us right next to the kitchen so I get to be the person that steals all the best stuff while the poor saps in the next aisle look on with envy.

Mwwahahahaha. My plan to take over dim sum restaurants is slowly but surely unfolding before your very eyes.

How does being a dim sum waitress work anyway? Do they get a commission for every plate they sell? Because they sure are pushy with those things sometimes. No ma'am, I do not want that plate of turnip cake, thank you. If they do work for commission, do you have to start at the chicken feet and work your way up? I always feel guilty when I say no to somebody's dim sum cart, like I just turned them down for a date or something.

You don't have to say anything, I know I'm overthinking this whole thing.